Stronger
by Kimmy Starsky
Summary: After Lisanna came back from Edolas, Lucy noticed she was being left out. So, with the intent of getting stronger, Lucy left Fairy Tail. Things just didn't turn out the way she hoped. Before she realized what was going on, she returned home, bruised and on the arms of Gajeel, her knight in shining armor.
1. Chapter 1

Second attempt! Hey everybody , hope y'all like my story. This is a redo of my story Absence, decided to try again with darker themes.

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As Lucy shoved her things in her bag, she couldn't stop thinking about what Mirajane said before she left. Yes, she was going solo on a mission, so? She couldn't? She hated the fact that everyone treated her like she couldn't take care of herself. Yes, she could. After all, she was a mage, wasn't she? But they didn't think so.

If only Lisanna hadn't come back…

Lucy hated herself for thinking like that, but that was exactly how she felt about Lisanna. After she came back from Edolas, Lucy realized she was kinda going out of focus. Everyone treated her like she was some sort of goddess, like Lucy never even existed in the first place. And that was annoying. She started to think that she was just a replacement for Lisanna. She scoffed at the idea. That was just insane. She closed her eyes, trying to get rid of those thoughts, while finishing packing her clothes.

She stood up and looked around in her apartment. She didn't really had much stuff. She didn't know exactly how to feel about it. Lucy didn't know if she felt weird or not, sometimes she missed the life she used to live. When she had everything she could ever hope for, with just a blink of an eye. Those days were easy. She sighed and stretched her arms.

Lucy lifted her bag, looking around if she had left anything important behind, and… there was nothing. Nothing she would miss anyway. She was going to miss the city, though… She looked at her right hand, the symbol of the pink fairy on her hand. She was sad to leave. Sad to leave everything behind. Sad that didn't get to say goodbye to Natsu and the others. Mostly Natsu.

Not even Master knew what she was going to do. She could have told him, but she didn't have the guts to do it. She closed her eyes once again, as if the image of closing the door to her apartment behind her was too much to bare, and she locked it. She took a good look at the silver key. She considered leaving her spirits too, but she couldn't bare to do it. She was leaving Fairy Tail, but it didn't mean she wasn't going to be a mage anymore.

Lucy stepped up the stairs, knocking on the first door, the only one without a number carved with golden ink. The door creaked and the lady stared at the sudden sight of Lucy on the other end. They shared smiles. Lucy, then, gave her the exact amount of money of the rent she needed to pay.

"That's great." The lady said, looking at the pieces of paper on her hand, counting. Then, she raised her eyes. "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to travel for a bit. If, by any chance, some people come here looking for me, tell them that I will come back. I don't know exactly when, but I will"

"Don't you want me to hold the place for you?" The lady murmured, she liked her. She didn't want to go through the whole process of finding another person to live there.

"I don't want to give you trouble. Plus, I don't exactly know how much time I'm going to be out, so… That's exactly the amount that I needed to pay you, isn't it?" Lucy asked, just to finish the other conversation. The lady nodded. "Great. It was nice seeing you"

Lucy said and shook her hand a goodbye as she headed towards the door, her bag making some noise as she walked through the halls.

As soon as she stepped outside, she could feel the warm air of autumn. She loved the feeling of the wind blowing on her golden hair. She looked back, already missing everything. But she had made a decision. She took another look on her hand. She didn't want to erase it, but at the same time, she couldn't be putting the guild name at risk. She sighed one last time and started to walk, saying goodbye to everything and everyone who passed her by mentally. She was going to miss everything about that city.

But then again, she rather get stronger. She'd rather evolve and show Natsu how she really is. That she isn't some sweet girl waiting to praised. She wasn't that. She wasn't needy. Lucy was an independent woman and she didn't need nobody's instructions to live forward.

Lucy took another long deep breath just second before she entered the train. Was she ready or not? A new spark of hope lighted up her eyes. She had a plan. She was just hoping that they would be there for her.

She stepped onto the train, feeling like she was a whole new person. She liked that feeling. The feeling of renewal. She hid the Fairy Tail mark under some white gloves, and waited. She knew, she just knew, that he was, indeed, going to help her. They were family after all.


	2. Chapter 2

"Where is she?" Natsu stormed into the guild. "It's been months now, how come nobody saw where she went?"

Natsu was trying to remember the last time he saw Lucy. If she had said anything or gave out some hints of what she was going to do.

"There has got to be a way that we can find her. What if she was killed or something?" Lisanna said, worried. Nobody thought of that possibility, but now, they couldn't stop thinking about it.

"Hush!" Master screamed as everybody started whispering to each other. "I don't need nobody fighting over it. We all know Lucy disappeared seven months ago. We are all worried. But there's nothing we can do." He didn't want to say, but everybody noticed the obvious. She must have erased the mark on her own. And if that was the case… "We just have to consider that Lucy Heartphilia does not belong to Fairy Tail anymore"

"But she is our friend!" Natsu screamed. "Don't we do everything for our friends?"

"Yes, Natsu, but everyone tried to find her and we didn't get anything. Unless she died or she erased the mark…" Erza said, unable to finish her sentence.

"I think she just doesn't want to be found" Wendy said.

And, with that, a loud bang on the door caught everyone's attention. Gajeel was carrying someone in his arms, they all just assumed it was someone from his mission. She had brown hair and her white skin was covered with bruises, burns and contusions. She was in pretty bad shape. Wendy immediately got ready as soon as she saw those legs hung from the air.

"Wendy, please" Gajeel said and walked into the infirmary. Wendy walked just behind him.

"Who is she?" Wendy questioned as soon as Gajeel put the woman carefully onto a bed. Gajeel didn't said a word. Wendy took a while, but she soon noticed.

Despite the brown hair and the bruises and the lack of the symbol in her right hand, she figured out that it was her. The person they've been looking for seven months. There she was, lying in the bed, unconscious, with so many wounds Wendy couldn't even imagine where she went to gather all that.

"I did my best to help her." Gajeel said. "But it was too much. She was almost dying when I found her."

"What happened?" Wendy asked. Gajeel looked the other way, ashamed.

"I don't know"

"Well, how did you find her?"

"I didn't." He answered. He ran his hand through his black hair. "She was the one who found me."

"You better tell the story, Gajeel" Erza said from the door of the infirmary. "Everyone is worried sick about her. If you have anything to say..."

"I know. I'll tell everyone. I just need to get some rest, please. It's been a long trip" Gajeel said, walking towards another bed and laying there. He was tired. Really tired. The train did not help a bit. He felt like he was going to puke.

"Are you alright?" Wendy asked, seeing how he was. Actually, he was just fine, his stomach was just… The things he saw… Gajeel needed some time to actually get over the fact that he saw a man in die in front of him.

"Yes" He said, picturing that scene over and over again. He couldn't help it. There was just so much blood… "I'll be fine"

Wendy said nothing and immediately began to heal Lucy's wounds the best she could. But, as she healed her, she noticed there was something wrong with Lucy. Her pulse was really low, her skin was cold, and she didn't move. She wouldn't wake up. For a moment she thought that maybe she…

No, that was an absurd. She was fine. She was stronger than Wendy imagined her. Wendy always looked up to her. Her kind words, her loving smile, her determination to help everyone. And her strength. Not the physical type. She was really strong mentally. She remembered hearing Lucy suffered worse, through torture and being beat up more times than she could count. But Lucy was just fine. Wasn't she? Then, why did she leave the guild? Why did she erase the Fairy Tail mark and why there was a cloth on top of her right hand?

Wendy took a strip of that cloth and carefully removed it, waiting to find just skin or even the symbol on her hand. But instead… The cloth made a disgusting sound as she removed the last piece. Wendy almost fainted, she almost screamed.

Her hand… It was just flesh and bones. You could see every muscle twitch a little bit, you could see the nerves. It was almost like she ripped out the skin of her own hand. Wendy felt her skin tingle, like she could feel it being done on her. She looked at her hand and sighed, relieved. Everything was normal. It was just paranoia.

Wendy took a heavy breath and continue to work on her bruises, focusing most on her hand. Wendy needed to do everything she could to help her friend, even if she wasn't part of the guild anymore. She was her friend.

And she would do everything for her, just like everyone else in the guild. It didn't matter if she a member or not.

She was still their friend.


	3. Chapter 3

There was a theme for Lucy's nightmare. And it was fire.

She was feeling hot. Like she was burning from the inside. Like she was made of fire. Her mind tried to make sense of what was going on, and immediately, put her in bikini and on a beach. It was beautiful. She had sunglasses on and a blue bikini. The waves of the sea touched her bare foot and she could practically feel the water on her toes. She knew she was dreaming. She knew it wasn't real. But it felt real enough. She wasn't worried about that. She liked that dream. It wasn't the first time she had that dream and she wanted to enjoy it, relaxing her mind.

The sun was on the middle of the sky, she could tell it was noon. She could feel the sun touch her skin. It was hot.

 _Too hot._

Her body began to burst into flames. Her blonde hair turned into ashes, her hand glowed with yellow fire. Was it hurting? She couldn't tell anymore. It tingled, like a feather running through her body. Didn't hurt. Much. Then, the heat became unbearable. She couldn't take it anymore. The fire covered her entire body, leaving her dehydrated. She wanted to drink some water. She wanted that fire to run out. She wanted to jump into the water that was right in front of her. But then, she noticed she couldn't move. She couldn't move her legs, her arms, couldn't even move her face. She could only move her eyes. She then noticed that she wasn't wearing sunglasses. She was just somewhere closed, somewhere dark.

"Don't worry. It'll be over soon" A voice said to her in her mind. Was it a woman's voice or a man's voice? She couldn't make out who was saying that to her. She couldn't see properly. She wanted to leave. She heard a streaking sound, like a match being lit. She saw the little flame, like a candle flame on the darkness. It lit just slightly the face of the person holding it. She could see that terrifying smile and those dreadful eyes. She could see that his lips were thin and his nose was pointy. She couldn't make out the color of his eyes. It was almost like it was…

Red.

The tiny flame then went over to her right hand, and she could finally see why she wasn't able to move. She was trapped on a chair, her hand was tied down.

"This will hurt only a little" He said and put the flame on top of her right hand, right where she had the Fairy Tail mark. The little fairy began dancing, like it was torturing to be there, and soon, it started to burn, vanishing bit by bit. Lucy could feel that her skin was burning too. It didn't hurt too much. It was pretty much nothing compared to her body already in flames. "Now, say goodbye to the fairies" As soon as Lucy heard him say it, she felt her hand ache. It burned. The flame was eating her skin, she couldn't take off her eyes of the flame on her hand. She could see her bones, she could see her muscles being fried.

She then screamed for someone. For anyone. Anyone who would listen. She needed to get out of there.

She screamed and cried. Her tears was turning into vapor, her skin was read. She was burning alive.

"Please!" She screamed and stood up. She was not there. She awoke from her nightmare. Lucy was relieved when she saw those faces worried about her. There it was. Mirajane, Erza, Wendy, Natsu, Gray and Happy. They were saying something to each other, but when they saw that she woke up, they stopped. They stared. Lucy immediately began crying. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing… I'm sorry"

Mirajane and Erza were the first ones to hug her. They didn't care if she was or not a member of Fairy Tail at that moment. She had been through enough.

"Don't you ever do anything like that again, you hear me?" Erza reprehended her. There was tears in both their faces. "I'm so glad you're back"

Everyone greeted her, cried with her, and hugged her. She then looked around, missing someone.

"Where's Gajeel?"

"He's sleeping. He brought you here and then just… Fainted on one of the beds." Mirajane said, pointing at him. He was in the bed next to her, snoring. Lucy let out a gentle smile. If it wasn't for him… "What happened, Lucy? You came here all bruised and burnt, and… Your hand..."

"Where did you go?" Erza asked.

Lucy bit her mouth. She didn't know how to answer that. She didn't know if she had actually forgotten or if she just didn't want to remember.

"I don't…" She sighed, looking down, a darkness crept over her eyes. "I don't remember"


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey, guys. Sorry for taking so long to update this, I actually lost the document I was writing this and it took me this much time to find it. Apparently, I should organise better my stuff into only one dropbox account._

 _Anyways._

 _I'm really glad you're all liking this._

 _Just to make sure you know, this story contains very strong and very mature themes. Be warned. It may or may not trigger you if you're sensitive to this kind of things._

 _(Btw, if I make any grammar mistakes, please point it out to me so I can fix it)_

 _Now that we are all caught up, let's proceed to the story._

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Do you believe in coincidences? Do you believe that two people are fated to each other and that, some way or another, they would be fated to meet either way, because destiny said so? It sounds far fetched, doesn't it? Some people believe in these things called fate. Others, don't. Gajeel was one of the persons that didn't believe in such thing. He believed that he made his own fate, he drove his own life off of a cliff if he wanted to and there was no such thing called fate getting in the way.

Until, one day, when he was on a job, his client, a gipsy woman, grabbed him by his hand and told him something he would never forget.

"You've met your special one already" She told him, in a husky voice, completely different from her voice just seconds ago. "She hated you from the first sight, but a life changing moment made her look differently around you. She doesn't hate you anymore"

"What are you talking about?" Gajeel asked, annoyed. He hated those things. He believed you could say the most randomness things and general oversights and you would get everything right.

"Don't look like you do not understand what I'm saying. The spirits know you. They know who you're going to meet, and who you'll fall in love. And I gotta say…" She laughed while drawing a pattern on Gajeel's hand with her finger "These spirits like you. I've never seen something like this before. You'll be her knight in shining armor."

"I gotta go now" Gajeel said, trying to get out of that conversation. He did not feel comfortable with someone reading over his future.

"Well… You'll remember this when it's time" She said, laughing a little. She took something from her purse and put it on his hand, closing right after. "Here's your payment. Thank you so much for helping me with this stuff." She then said, completely changing her persona. Gajeel was overwhelmed with how fast she changed personalities. Either she a good actress or she was really possessed when she talked to him about the special one.

And, just like she said, he would come to remember those words a while later. That bothered him for a couple of days, but, then, he just completely forgot about it. Then, Lucy disappeared. Everyone was worried about her, everyone wanted to know where she was. Natsu and Gray made a team each to look for Lucy, they even asked if other guilds like Blue Pegasus would help them find Lucy. That was five months ago.

When her disappearance reached the six months anniversary, the other guilds stopped helping them. They said that… It was too late. If nobody had found her in over six months, then… The answer was clear. Master took a little longer to accept it. He did not want to say it. But, everyone's hope started to fade.

That's when Master used his last resource. Her mark. And when it didn't work, he…

Gajeel decided to go on a mission when everyone was starting to quit searching for her. He needed to get his mind off of it. He needed to go to a place where she wasn't the only thing they talked about. Although… He did not stop thinking about her. And he did not see the irony of the mission he had just assigned himself.

He needed to find a magician that was putting fear in everyone on that city. They didn't know his name. They only called him The Goose. He thought it was an animal, but it was a magician. His luck was that he was much easier to find than just some random goose.

Well… If you can call that luck. It took Gajeel two weeks to track him down. And when he did, he wish he didn't find him. The things he saw… There was so much blood… Was just too much for him. He couldn't bear it. He vomited when he saw Lucy. Everything else about that day was very clear in his mind, he could remember what he ate that day. But he couldn't remember how he managed to get Lucy out of there. It was blurred, he thought it was his mind's way to stay protected from the terrors.

He had lived through a dark guild, had lived through some weird stuff that happened during missions… But those things… Those things he saw that day… He would have a hard time forgetting about those things.

The only thing he could think about when he carried Lucy in his arms, was blood. Blood. Blood. He remembered the fight just before reaching her, he remembered punching him in the face. But the part where he carried her in his arms into the nearest hospital, that was blurred. He didn't know if he would be able to sleep that night if he actually remembered that.

He was sure he didn't finish his job, he wouldn't go back. He didn't want to see his face again. He was sure it would give him nightmares. The Goose was back in the wild. And Gajeel wouldn't be the one to track him down. He almost couldn't handle it. He wouldn't go back.

He stayed with Lucy on the hospital for two days, and, he didn't leave her side for one second. He wasn't going to let her escape. And he needed time to get those things he saw out of his mind.

"She's almost fine" The doctor said. "She suffered a mild concussion, so, she might take a little longer to wake up. There is no more risk of internal bleeding, so, I guess, if you want to take her back..."

"Thank you" Gajeel said, looking at the Lucy peacefully sleeping on her bed "And, about those things..."

"I suggest you to keep an eye on her. It's common for victims of torture and kidnapping to have a hard time adjusting again to society. And, according to what you saw… Well, you should keep a close on her. Just in case" The doctor blinked and tapped his shoulder. Gajeel went back to Lucy's side. He wouldn't dare leave her alone.

Then, she awoke. Gajeel was relieved, Lucy was relieved. She was free from everything and Gajeel was the one who saved her. After almost six months with that psycho, after six months away from her family, Lucy was finally free. Gajeel helped her. She called him her knight in shining armor. She told him she was afraid. He told her he wouldn't leave her side. She believed him.

But when he did, a new hell was unleashed.

And he had to save her once again. But this time, he had to save her from herself.


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as almost every single wound was healed, Lucy went back to see if her former landlord had already rent the apartment to someone else. She was a little sad when she found out there was a couple living there, but she couldn't do much. She did tell her that she didn't know when she was going to return, she had no rights to demand that apartment to herself.

"What is that on your hand?" The lady asked. Lucy lifted her right hand. The hand with the cloth.

"I burned it." She said, remembering those dreams. The matches. A terrible memory. "I forgot to put gloves on to take off the cake from the oven"

"You should be more careful" The lady said, a little worried. Lucy just smiled and said her goodbyes. She needed to find another place to rent.

"Why don't come live with us, Lucy?" Levy asked her, with a big smile on her face. She could already see. They would spend the night times reading in silence. Levy loved to spend time with her friend, and couldn't wait to live together. "Oh, it'll be fun! Think of the books we'll read together"

"Thank you, Levy, but your place is too expensive for me. And I don't think I want to go another mission so soon…" Lucy said, her voice dying in a tone so soft, her friends almost didn't recognize her.

"That shouldn't be a problem, Lucy. We're help to help you with whatever you need" Erza said, putting her hand on Lucy's arm, giving out a light smile. Lucy smiled too. That smile made Erza and all the others so much more worried about her, because they knew that something happened with her. Something wrong.

They didn't know exactly what, but they intended to find out.

"Thank you, guys, but… I'll think about it, okay?" Lucy said and she stood up from the table, leaving Erza and Levy with worried looks behind her.

"Where are you going?" Levy asked.

"I think I need to be alone right now" She said and left. As soon as she crossed the guild's door, Erza shouted at Natsu, asking him to come closer. Natsu and Happy went over to Erza, still sitting on the table, side by side with Levy. She was looking at the door, worried.

"I don't think Lucy's alright. She says she is, but I doubt it. We don't know what she's been through, I think it would be a mistake to leave her alone right now." Erza whispered to Natsu, he was paying close attention to what Erza was saying. "She just left. Would you follow her, just to make sure she's alright?"

Without a word, Natsu shook his head. He and Happy walked out the guild, stealthily, acting almost as if they were ninjas and not mages.

"Why did you ask them to go look for Lucy?" Levy asked, a little bit confused.

"Because, if he was here, he would not leave me alone with Gajeel" Erza said, standing up from the chair. "I will go talk with Gajeel. I need to know what he knows"

"I'll go with" Levy said. "I have a knack for talking him into saying some things"

"Then you should be able to help me." Erza smiled.

As soon as they walked in the infirmary, they heard Gajeel scream with Gray. He said something about you don't wanna know and then stepped out of the infirmary, walking towards the guild door. He was angry. He didn't want to say everything that happened with Lucy. And they felt like that was a mistake on his part.

"Where did she go?" Gajeel asked, screaming at the whole guild. Everybody just stared at him, unable to give an answer. "Next time any of you see her, do not let her be alone."

Gajeel said and then, walked out the doors, almost running, looking for Lucy.

"What was that?" Erza asked Gray. He sighed.

"He doesn't want to say what happened. The best I got from him was something about what she's done. I don't know, I don't understand that guy" Gray scratched his neck.

"What she's done? What does he mean with that?" Erza asked him, curious.

"I guess it's something she's done when they were alone? I couldn't get much, he was stressed" Gray said shrugged. "You know what, I don't care. But he's going to have to talk to someone about what happened"

Erza agreed. And she wanted to be the one Gajeel was going to say something. She wanted to be the one to know.

"Did he say anything else?" Erza asked. "Beside the whole thing about Lucy. What else did he say?"

"Well…" Gray said and looked at Mirajane who was there in the corner, trying to figure out what was wrong with them. She shrugged too and went back to check over the bar. "He said something about blood"

"Blood?" Erza asked. That was pretty random. "What about it?"

"I didn't quite get it" He said, looking at the two beds that were now a mess. "He said something about being too much blood. He was probably sleeping, though"

That made Erza even more worried. If she could only understand what was going on between Lucy and Gajeel. They were both too different in comparison to the last time they saw each other. Lucy was a beam of light, shining over with grace, fun and laughter, while Gajeel was confident and selfless. To see they both like that… Almost completely different…

Lucy did not carry the same laugh as before. It was almost like she never could laugh anymore.

Gajeel seemed to have lost his confidence. He was now arrogant and even a little stupid. He would never talk like that to everyone, even if he was indeed worried with someone. Erza sighed. If there was only something she could do…

If only she could hear the story of what happened… She would know if there was something she could do to help. But, unfortunately, in this case, even if she knew what happened, there was nothing she could do, except for hope Lucy would get better.

It wasn't until she actually spent some time alone that Lucy found out that she hated being alone. She hated having no one around her, to talk to her, or even, just be there for her. She didn't like having no one to stare at. She didn't know exactly why. Probably because of the six months she spent not knowing exactly what happened.

She wasn't the same person, this much she knew. She could tell. She didn't knew exactly what, because it felt to her like she slept for way too long. The only thing Lucy knew for sure was that she was feeling lost.

Not only because she felt like she didn't belong in the guild anymore, but because she felt like she lost some important piece of herself. Maybe it was attached to her right hand. She looked at the cloth. She wanted to know what happened that made her loose a bit of skin. A bit of sense.

"Do you really want to know?" A voice in her mind asked her. She knew it wasn't her voice, it sounded much louder than those voices of intuition. It sounded as loud as someone talking to her. But there was no one around. Lucy was alone. She was lying her back on the trunk of a tree, the leafs on top of her head were dancing and chattering as the wind blew them away, some even falling on Lucy's lap.

She knew she was alone, so, where did that voice come from?

"Tell me. If you want to know, I can show you what happened"

"I don't want to know" Lucy said, out loud. She was upset. She thought she was alone. She wanted to be alone. She grabbed one of the leafs that fell on her lap.

"Well, you just said you wanted to know"

"I didn't say it" Lucy started to rip apart the leaf on her hand. She was clearly upset. Angry, even.

"Then you must have though about it" That was the last thing the voice said to her before she heard the sound of someone calling her name. She rose her head to see that it was Gajeel and he was walking towards her. He smiled at her, she smiled back. He saw a little dirt on top of her skirt, wondering what it was. It was the last reminder of the leaf she was once holding.

"So this is where you went" He said sitting by her side, laying his back on the trunk of the tree.

"I wanted to be alone for a while" Lucy said, looking at her lap. She didn't know what happened to the leaf. She only remembered holding it.

"You hate to be alone"

"How do you know?" She asked, staring at his eyes. He looked back at her, and she felt an intense feeling on his eyes. Like he was not looking at her, but at her soul.

He was trying to find out where did she go.

"You told me. At the hospital. Don't you remember?" He asked, but Lucy just stared back at her lap. "You really don't remember"

"What happened to me?" Lucy asked, feeling tears rise up to her eyes. "Do I want to know?"

"No" Gajeel promptly answered. Even he didn't want to know everything. "Trust me, you don't want to know what happened to you."

"But, what..." She then saw the cloth again. She held one piece of it with her left hand, wondering to herself if it would hurt too much if she pinched right in her bones.

"You were kidnapped." Gajeel said, looking away from her. He was staring at a humming bird kissing some flowers a little ways down from him. "I don't know what that guy did to you,but you were missing for six months"

"Natsu told me I was missing for seven months"

"For him, you were missing for seven months. I found you before that, and took you to a hospital, to make you get a little better before you came back" Gajeel closed his eyes, trying to remove that image from head. Blood, blood, blood.

"So, I was with you for a whole month?" She asked. Gajeel opened his eyes and nodded. "What… What did we do in that month?"

"You told me you loved me" Gajeel said staring again in her eyes. Lucy was surprised. "You said I was your knight in shining armor"

"How do I not remember that?"

"Because something else happened at the end of that month. And it's best that you don't remember it" Gajeel said, feeling guilty. "Don't worry. It's not that important"

"I lost seven months of my life" Lucy said to herself. She wanted to know how that was not important. "And I was in love with you?"

"I guess so" He laughed a little, scratching his neck. "And, honestly? I, too, am in love with you. I don't know if you still feel the same way. I wouldn't think so"

Lucy stayed in silence. She didn't know if she wanted to know or not. She didn't know if it was worth it. What if she had done something? What if she remembered things she didn't want to remember? If she wasn't confused before, she sure was confused now. Then she felt a warm hand hold hers, she looked up. Gajeel was smiling at her. She smiled back, feeling safe. She didn't know how she knew, but she knew she could trust him. She knew she was safe with him.

He would protect her. She felt that.

"You don't have anywhere else to go, right?" Gajeel asked her. "Why don't you come live with me? That way I can make sure you're safe. And you won't be alone anymore" Lucy's smile widened. She didn't know how he could do that. Make her feel safe. Safe enough to actually say:

"Yes"

Levy was trying very hard to not look wounded. It wasn't that she decline her because she would rather live with Gajeel, but it was because she felt safer with Gajeel than with her. She could understand that. Is not like she deliberately chose Gajeel over her. Levy was trying to understand that. Was trying to not take it personally. But when she noticed the way Gajeel looked at her, and the way he listened to her when she talked, the way he held her, the way he… The way he simply cared for Lucy was something she only read in stories of princes and princesses. She knew almost instantly that there was something going on between those two. Something she couldn't quite tell. Something that scared Gajeel and something that Lucy didn't know.

Levy was almost scared to ask Gajeel what happened. She knew he wouldn't say, but that question would linger on until there was an answer.

The night came and so, Gajeel and Lucy went over to his house. It was a one bedroom apartment, almost too clean for him. He also didn't have too many stuff. Everything was in shades of gray, there wasn't much color. Lucy felt weird about that, but she didn't say anything. She was sure she would get used to it.

Gajeel gave Lucy a towel and showed her the bathroom. He showed her how much you actually had to swirl so you have hot water. And then, he left the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Lucy felt weird. She was staring at the towel in her hands, the water of the shower making the most beautiful noise. She was just trying to make herself feel better about the whole situation. She was about to strip in Gajeel's bathroom. How weird was that? Not too weird if she stopped to wonder about all the other things she must have done with Gajeel when they were dating. She took a deep breath and stripped down, finally noticing how awkwardly dirty her clothes were. She didn't change since she got there. She had drips of blood in her clothes and stains that she could only hope to be mud. She then got in the shower, feeling so relaxed with the sensation of the drops of water falling to her body, cleaning her, washing her. She could stay there forever. She saw, only then, all the bruises that was still in her body. Wendy knew some spells but she wasn't that great a magician.

There was still some things that… Either she didn't see or didn't quite reach. There was stains on her skin, around her stomach and hips that she couldn't get off, no matter how much she tried to clean it.

But the one thing that made Lucy the most uncomfortable was the scar across her belly. One great scar, deep, not fully healed, from one side to the other, almost like she was cut in half then sowed back together.

She didn't want to know what happened. She only wanted to know who did that to her.

Lucy got out of the shower and wrapped herself in the towel, walking out of the bathroom, only to find Gajeel making his bed. When he noticed she was there, dripping wet, staring at him, he said.

"I'll sleep on the couch. Tomorrow we'll see how we're going to do with all this situation. I'm assuming you're tired. I left some clothes for you here. We can shop some more for you tomorrow"

"Thank you"

"You're all suit" He said looking around, trying to find if there was anything else he could do for her. "I'll let you sleep. Goodnight"

"Gajeel" She called for him as soon as he stepped out the room. He looked back and waited.

"Why are you doing all this for me?"

"Why?" He laughed, a little surprised with the question. "Well… This is awkward"

"I could live with Levy." She said, waiting for him to say something. Anything. "Instead I chose you" Gajeel sighed.

"I don't know why you chose me over her. Lucy, you probably didn't believe me the first time I said it, so I'll say it again." He walked over to her, and he held her hand. "I love you. There is nothing more important to me than to make sure you're safe."

"So you're doing all of this… Because you love me?" Lucy asked him.

"I do not expect you to feel the same way. You lost your memories. And I sure do not hope you get them back. Instead of making you remember what we had, I can make new memories with you" He smiled to her and kissed her hand. "To make you feel loved again"

He then kissed her forehead. Lucy's face was red now. "Goodnight"

He closed the door and Lucy was left in his room by herself. She took a look at the clothes he left her. A shirt big enough for two Lucys, and some pants that also served as slippers. Two in one. She wore them, without anything to wear underneath, and laid down her head in his pillow. So soft she almost slept instantly. She heard soft whispers on her ear, asking her to wake up.

First they were smooth. Then, they started to get a little wilder. And louder.

Lucy's mind was filled with images of fire.

 _Wake up_

They shouted to her ears and awoke, but she could not move. Again. She knew she was awake now, she was on Gajeel's room and she was facing the door. She wanted to move but her body wasn't listening. Then, shadowy figures emerged from the door. They didn't have faces, nor fully shaped bodies. There were mere shadows, as if their real bodies was somewhere she couldn't see, somewhere facing the light. As if they were nothing but mere smoke.

They were getting closer, they were laughing at her. Lucy was getting even more scared, she couldn't move. She needed to move. She tried open her mouth to shout for Gajeel, but nothing. And they were getting closer and closer. They were now by her bedside and they were saying things, not to her, but to themselves. Lucy had to focus on their voice to try and figure out what they were saying.

"Do you think she's awake?"

"Look at her eyes. Of course she's awake"

"I love when they get scared."

She couldn't tell how many were there. She couldn't tell if they were a figment of her imagination or if they were real. At that moment, there was nothing more important to her than to just get out of there. She wanted to scream for mercy. Instead, she was tied down to her own bed, unable to move, unable to speak, while listening to those shadows talk about her like she wasn't there.

"What do you think?" They said again. "Is she worth it?"

The other shadow laughed. Lucy was terrified. "She survived so far, hasn't she? It's more than everybody is definitely worth it"

"Let's see. I think there is something more that we can do to see if she really is the person we've been looking for"

Then, she saw a lighter on the smoke's hand. Fire. Just the sight of it made Lucy scream. She screamed at the top of her lungs, even after she woke up. Gajeel stormed into the room, trying to calm her down.

She cried and sobbed, and there was nothing Gajeel could do to make it stop.

"I want to know" She said, between gasps of air. "I want to know what they did to me"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Lucy said, she was angry now. "They tortured me. I want to know why" And I want to make them pay for it.


	6. Chapter 6

Gajeel spent the entire night with Lucy. When he said she didn't like to be alone, she didn't know how right he was. It was terrifying. It was damn right scary.

When Lucy went into the bathroom the next morning to wash herself, the moment she looked at herself in the mirror, she saw someone who wasn't her. She saw brown hair, tired and sad eyes, a little scar just below her eyebrows that circled her entire eyeball.

Lucy looked at her terrified, trying to figure out what kind of girl she was and where was she. She took a while to realize that she was staring at herself.

She didn't like that color on her hair. She needed to eat better, she needed to get a little more fat. Her cheekbones were too tall. She walked out the bathroom, finally noticing that she wasn't the same person as before. Gajeel was staring at her, waiting for her to say something. He knew that she was a little scared, mostly because of what she just saw in the bathroom mirror.

But she said nothing. He wouldn't dare say anything either.

They walked out to buy her some new clothes. Lucy was in shock to find out how much patience Gajeel had with her. To actually go buy clothes and shoes for her. She could tell he was bored, but he was making an effort to be there for her.

And she knew how to appreciate it.

Then, carrying way too many bags, they stopped to eat lunch. The waitress confused them too with a married couple and asked them how long they've been married. Lucy was embarrassed trying to say they weren't married and Gajeel was amused. The waitress walked out with their requests and a poker face. It was clear how she made the mistake.

They talked like a married couple. They got along really well. It was amazing their chemistry. They knew how to enjoy each other company.

Then, Gajeel stopped smiling and said the thing that was bothering him since the night before.

"Do you really want to know what happened to you? Do you really want to know what they did?"

"I had a terrible nightmare yesterday" Lucy answered, the light in her eyes changing completely.

"That's not a good reason"

"I keep hearing them talking in my ears. I hear things, Gajeel. It's bugging me. You don't know how bad it is." She was clearly annoyed. Gajeel didn't need to see it in her eyes. He saw pa rt of what they did to her. There was so much blood. He, himself, wanted to know how to forget what he saw. "I think if I knew what they did to me, I could finally be at ease"

"I think if you find out what they did to you, you'd be even more paranoid" Gajeel said and then the waitress brought them their juice, filling up their two glasses. There was an obnoxious silence. The waitress got out of there as fast as she could. "I think you'd be better not knowing"

"You can say that, because you saw, didn't you? You know what they did"

"Not exactly" He said, combing his hair with his hand, looking the other way. "I didn't got to see the whole thing"

"But you know a part"

"I don't want to talk about it" Gajeel said, trying to forget those images. Blood, blood, blood. "This is not a conversation to have when we're eating"

"Now I'm even more freaked out"

"That was not what I wanted to do. I wanted to reassure that you don't…"

"But I want to!" Lucy shouted. Almost everyone in the restaurant looked at her and her face turned red. She sat back in her chair, trying to blend herself with the wood. Everyone turned back to their meal, and Lucy was trying to be quieter. "I'm going to find out what happened. Doesn't matter if you tell me or not. I'll find out someone who'll help me remember"

"Fine, you want to know?" Gajeel said, angrily. He was pissed now. He then got closer to her and whispered next to her so that anyone would hear what he would say. "By now, you know that you were being tortured, right? When I got to you, you were covered in your own blood, piss and shit. You were electrocuted, burnt, and worse. The only thing I know is that I am the one who got to you, who found you and helped you out of that hell hole. I took you to a hospital and I sat by your side for days. I promised I would never leave your side. I promised I would protect you. And that is exactly what I am doing right now, protecting you from the horrible things you went through. Do you really want to know what you've been through?"

Lucy stood in silence. The meal arrived. She was not hungry anymore.

"Tell me at least what we did in that month we stayed together"

"I can help you remember" Gajeel said, a little calmer now. "That is the only part I can help you remember. I'll let you remember that."

"How are you going to help me remember?" Lucy asked. Gajeel had the answer at the top of his tongue. He thought about it before.

"I know a person"

Lucy was almost regretting her decision. Did she want to know or…? By the time they arrived at the cabin a little ways out of town, Gajeel questioned himself if he was doing that for her or for him.

He wasn't sure anymore if he wanted her to remember the things she did to him in that month. He didn't know how she would act after she knew those things.

"So, who exactly is this woman? Is she some sort of shaman or…?"

"They call her a witch." Gajeel promptly answered, knowing she would ask that eventually. He had a whole speech ready in his mind. "I think it's weird that even nowadays, with all the mages and everything, people still find ways to isolate a person." Lucy didn't know what to say. Gajeel seemed like he knew that woman, like she wasn't just a shaman, or just a witch. She was much more than that to him, it was clear. "She used to be a part of Phantom Lord, although she didn't spend too much time in the guild. She did all this potions and magic that was… Just not plain magic. It's hard to explain. You'll see when we get there"

Lucy was curious to find out what she really was. A witch who used different kind of magic? She never heard anything like it before.

"Sounds like you were friends with her" Lucy said, trying to understand why he was feeling so emotional about it.

"It's not that we were friends. It's that… She saved my life more times than I care to admit" Gajeel said, blushing a little, running his hand through his hair. Lucy was probably a little more worried about the whole thing. She couldn't really care about her, now she couldn't stop thinking about Gajeel being friends with this witch.

It sounded like he cared for her, it sounded like he had feelings for her. And Lucy did not like that one bit.

Why, exactly, she wasn't sure.

As they kept walking, the road getting thinner and thinner, the pavement switching to dirt, rocks fighting against their feet, Lucy felt like years had passed when she finally saw a little white wooden house just ahead. The witch had a little garden just in front of her house with white fences. From the outside, it looked like a normal house. Lucy expected it to be a torn down house, with holes on the roof and walls, and a floor made of dirt. She was mistaken.

It was a nice house.

There was a woman with long black hair attending to her garden. Her tulips were in her hand while she ripped some weed with her other hand. She had a quiet smile on her face, she was humming some music Lucy never heard before.

"Gajeel, I wasn't expecting you to come so soon" She said with a soft voice, looking up to see her guests. "And you brought company. It's nice to meet you, Lucy, I'm Tomoyo. How are you doing"

"How do you know my name?" Lucy asked, nervously. She didn't look like a witch.

"The spirits tell me great things about you" She smiled and took off her gloves, she walked out of her precious garden and opened the door, inviting them in with a nod. "You can wait here, I'll make us some tea. You do like tea, don't you, Lucy?"

"Yes" Lucy said, in wonder, as she looked around her living room. It was nicer than her apartment. Tomoyo smiled at her and asked them to sit down while they waited. Lucy sat there, holding her hands, worried about what she would say. What she would see. Gajeel could see she was nervous. She was playing with her hands on top of her blue skirt. Gajeel held her hand to stop her. She looked up. He was staring at the nothing. It was his way of saying to her that everything is going to be fine. She smiled and, somehow, she felt better about the whole situation.

Then, Tomoyo appeared with three cups of tea on a tray with some chocolate chip cookies.

"I baked these yesterday morning. The people that come to see me, they… Want my advice but do not want to try anything I do. And it always ends up spoiling"

Tomoyo said, putting the tray on the table in between them and sat on her favorite chair. Gajeel took a bite of the cookies and Lucy held the tea in her hands.

There was a nice moment of silence while Tomoyo drank her tea and Gajeel and Lucy ate the cookies. Then, Tomoyo looked to her side, lifting her head a little like she was hearing someone who wasn't there. Someone was talking to her.

"You are quite a treat in the celestial world, Lucy" Tomoyo laughed. "They all talk so highly of you. Like you are a hero"

"A hero?" Lucy was uncomfortable now. She didn't like to be praised.

"Yes. But then…" She listened some more. "Something happened. Something tragic. And… not too long ago. And it lasted for quite some time" Tomoyo said and then she stopped for a little, to hear some more. And her eyes widened, her chin dropped. Worry filled her eyes as she, now, stared at Lucy with pity. She looked like she was about to cry. Then, she regained composure and cleared her throat. "So, I assume you need my help with something"

"Yes, I need to…"

"She wants to remember the last month" Gajeel said, interrupting Lucy. "Only the last month"

"She doesn't remember?" Tomoyo asked, but it seemed that it was not for Gajeel that question. "I see… And why exactly do you want to remember that, Lucy?"

She put the cup on the table once more.

"Do you know what happened to me?" Lucy asked and Tomoyo bit her lip.

She just found out. "Exactly. I don't. And I keep having nightmares. I keep hearing to people that aren't there, I keep seeing things. It's maddening"

Tomoyo sighed deeply, considering her options.

"If you want, I can keep the nightmares away" She said, and Lucy wasn't thrilled with the idea. "That is an option of course. You know, not many people want to know what happened when they were tortured. Why do you want to find out?"

"They did something to me. I want to know what. And I want to remember their faces so that next time I see them…" Lucy said, noticing the anger rising up to her throat. She stopped to take a breath and calm herself down. "I can have my revenge"

"You know revenge isn't exactly a nice…"

"Can you help me or not?" Lucy asked. Her patience was wearing out.

Tomoyo sighed again.

"I can ease the gateway to the memories, so they won't flood everything all at once. It's dangerous for the memories to come all at once, you can get lost inside your mind. I can make it easier for you" Tomoyo said, trying to maintain professional.

"If that's you want."

"I do" Lucy said, filled with determination.

"Lucy, calm down. Weigh everything. Do you really think it's worth it?" Gajeel tried, but Lucy's patience wore down.

"I'm going insane, Gajeel, and I need to know why" Lucy shouted, her voice echoing in the small house "So, yes, I am sure. I want to do this. And if she can't help me, I'm going to find someone who can"

"I never said I wouldn't help you. I just wanted to make sure what you wanted. And now that I do…" Tomoyo said and then, stood up. She gestured Lucy to tag along and led her to another room, completely dark. With a box of matches she knew exactly where she kept them, Tomoyo lit up a set of candles, setting the mood for the room. Now, Lucy saw something. She saw a bed on the middle of the room and a chair right next to it. "Please" She said and Lucy sat down. Gajeel held her hand.

Lucy might have been sure of what she was about to do, but not Gajeel.

He couldn't say anything more. Lucy was sure. So, he wouldn't oppose. He was the one who led her down there anyway.

"Lay down and close your eyes" Tomoyo said, cleaning her hands with a humid towel. She was also getting ready. Lucy did what she was told. Gajeel kept holding her hand, until Tomoyo looked at his hands. She didn't need to say anything.

Gajeel released her hand and stepped back, just behind Tomoyo.

She sighed.

"Get ready. You're about to remember exactly what you went through the last couple of months"


	7. Chapter 7

"Lucy?" She heard his voice call out for her. She was glad, even though that wasn't the voice she wanted to hear. At least it was someone she knew. She wanted to hug him, but her arms were tied down to a very uncomfortable chair. Her eyes could not see his face, she was locked in the dark for a very long time.

She heard the steps and the screams. She heard bones being cracked and bodies falling to the ground. She was weak, she felt like she didn't eat for days, which was probably true, considering where she was.

She was in hell, that's where she was. Then, when all the noises stopped, she felt warm hand hold her arms and free her from that chair. She didn't know for exactly how long she was there. As long as they pleased, probably. The same person who knocked down the people who were keeping her trapped was, now, saving her. Carrying her across that dark place, through the horrible smell, on his arms. She knew it wasn't Natsu.

But she didn't care anymore.

She was being saved.

The next time she opened her eyes, she was in a white bed, with white clothes and in a white room. There was someone sleeping by her side. He was holding her hand. She wasn't feeling dizzy anymore. She felt… Something she hasn't felt for a while. She felt safe.

When the nurse went to her room to check her vitals, she noticed her bright brown eyes staring at her. She smiled, revealing white teeth. She was nice, Lucy thought. "Thank God you're awake. I'll go call the doctor" She said and left once again. By then, her companion awoke beside her and held her arm. That's when Lucy discovered that Gajeel was the one who saved her from all that mess. He caressed her cheek, letting go a sigh of relief.

Minutes later, the doctor showed up and explained to her and Gajeel her condition. She suffered through tremendous pain, both physical and psychological.

He explained that it would be quite difficult for her to go back to the lifestyle she once had, but it wasn't impossible. She needed rest for a couple of days and she couldn't restrain herself.

He also gave Lucy pain medications, just in case, and a list of things she was allowed to eat. He said that…After all that happened, it would be normal to experience some sickness. They never said what happened. Lucy could still remember.

At that time, she remembered. And it was awful.

She was released from the hospital. Gajeel offered a ride back to the guild, but she didn't want to. She had seen some things, Gajeel could see it in her eyes.

Something about the guild. She was still pretty traumatized.

That day, Lucy screamed when she slept. She woke up with a sore throat and Gajeel's worrying eyes were staring at her. She immediately started crying. She hugged him and begged him not to leave her side. She couldn't tell if he was taking of her because he cared about her or because he pitied her. She didn't care. She

was being looked after. And that was the best feeling in the world for her.

She left Fairy Tail because she was being overlooked. Because she thought no one else cared about her. Because she was forgotten after Lisanna returning and replacing her. Of course she was being silly. No one could ever replace her, but still… She couldn't help to be feeling that way when every time she tried to talk to Natsu or even ask for them to go on missions and he just walked right passed her.

Just… Like she wasn't even there.

And now… There was someone looking after her. Caring for her. Even if it was just pity, she loved it. Being the center of attention.

She never thought it would go over her head like it did. She almost scared Gajeel away, which would be pretty difficult thing to do after he promised to her. He would never leave. But she made him leave her. One night.

One night, she became too much. That night, Gajeel left her room trying to get some air just to make sure he wouldn't punch her. And… That night… She almost killed him and herself because of that.

She went insane. Because she was left by herself.

That was the night he promised her he would not leave her alone anymore. So he decided to bring her to Fairy Tail, so they would keep her company when he wasn't there. He couldn't allow Lucy going to that dark place anymore. That's why she could be alone.

Lucy woke up covered in sweat after seeing the things she did to him, out of breath, like someone had sat on her chest that whole time. She looked at Gajeel right into his eyes, almost apologetic.

"I didn't go too far" Tomoyo said, releasing her hands from Lucy's chest. "I'm afraid it would be too much for her."

"I'm sorry, Gajeel" Lucy said, standing up, rushing to get a hug from him. "I'm sorry for what I did"

"You remember now" Gajeel said softly. She tightened her grip into his back and she shook her head. "You don't need to apologize. I'm the one who needs to say sorry. I didn't take good care of you"

"You didn't know what I was capable of." She said raising her head to stare him into his eyes. "I guess I didn't know what I was capable of"

"Now you know why you can't be alone, right?" He said. She smiled, but it wasn't a pretty one. It was a sad one. Full of regret.

They hugged each other for a while longer, she could feel her heartbeat slowing down just a little every second.

"I had to open a door so you could remember." Tomoyo said finally. Lucy cleaned one tear that fell from one of her eyes. "You should be careful now. That door is open, anything that could be a trigger will make you remember. The point of it is to make the flow of memories a little easier so it doesn't go everything all at once."

"And if it does?" Gajeel asked. Tomoyo's expression became a little darker.

The candles from the room were starting to go out, making the room a little darker every second. It was time for them to get out of there.

"It's not going to be pretty. Imagine six months of memories being shoved into your brain in only a matter of seconds. It can be painful." Lucy took a deep breath. If that last month ws that terrible, she couldn't even imagine how it was those six months ago. Specially if it was being remembered all at once. Like all those six months happened in six seconds. She didn't know if she could take it. She regretted her decision now. "I did what you wanted me to. I hope that you don't regret your decision"

Lucy bit her lower lip.

"I won't"

Tomoyo knew that she wasn't being honest about it but said nothing. She did her part. Now Lucy had to live with those consequences.

"I think we should go." Lucy said finally after a long minute of silence. It was starting to get awkward. There was some things Lucy wanted to say to Gajeel without her there to overhear anything. "I don't think we should leave the people from the guild without knowing anything about me"

Tomoyo followed them to her front door, she was ready to say goodbye when she saw the bruise on her hand again. And someone whispered in her ear. Tomoyo held Lucy's right hand and turned to see it more carefully. She touched it lightly and Lucy squirmed a little.

"This was not caused by a normal wound." Tomoyo analysed. "Poor you, this was caused by magic. A very dark one."

Lucy stared at her, a little worried. How could a magic scalp her skin off?

"This is going to take a while to heal" Tomoyo said releasing Lucy's hand. "Doesn't it hurt you?" Lucy just shook her head. "It may take a while, but it will heal. Trust me. The spirits will help you. Call for Loki if it starts to ache. He will help you"

"I will. Thank you" Lucy said and smiled. She actually smiled. The one smile that wasn't fake or sad. And Gajeel's heart beamed when he saw that. But it didn't take too long for it to disappear. As they were walking out, she naturally grabbed his hand. She didn't notice, but Gajeel did. And he smiled as they walked back to his house.

She couldn't stop thinking about the past month. About the only thing Gajeel didn't know. The exact reason why she couldn't be alone. Why she became mad she was by herself. And that was the voices in her head. She now remembered.

It was a voice she didn't want to hear anymore, even if it meant not being alone at all.

She could go crazy if she did. Literally.


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry for taking so long to update this story. I actually lost the other half and I was refusing to believe I had to rewrite the whole thing. *sigh* Oh, well. It just means for me that I have to come up with a different ending, because I can't remember what I wrote at all.

As Lucy and Gajeel walked their way back to Magnolia, she could not stop thinking about one thing. Their months together. She remembered now, how badly she was when he found her. She was tied to a chair, with her stomach falling out.

He didn't remember it very well, but, now that she remembered that last month, Lucy recalled everything. She was there, in the middle of darkness in a dark room, a single light on top of her head. Then, she heard bodies falling to the floor and his face got close to hers. She noticed it was him because of the light reflected on his nose and eyebrow piercings.

His face was distorted. He was disgusted. She didn't notice it was because there was something on top of her, or rather, something open in her. Her stomach was completely open. Her guts were falling out. Her surgeon was on the floor, next to all that blood.

Gajeel threw up. She heard that gagging noise right next to her. She wasn't disgusted at all. She actually knew something like that was going to happen if someone found her there. Then, when he stood up again, his face was white. He was determined to get out of there as fast as he could, and he would take her with him. His hands were shaking. She could feel he was shaking when he cut the handcuffs that were there for so long it left a red mark all around.

She could feel her hands now. She could move now. Gajeel did all he could do to try to put her intestine back into that original hole, but he really didn't want to touch that. There were bloodstains, there was dirt everywhere. It would not heal easily. It would turn into a very ugly scar.

He did what he could until he thought he would throw up again. Lucy held it in place, covering most of it with her hands so he couldn't see it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He held her in his arms, and he ran his way out. If she had to run out of there alone, all by herself, she could not do it. She didn't know where was the exit of that place. He made it, finally reaching the sunlight.

It had been a long time since the last saw the sun or felt it in her skin. It burned, almost like the flames on her bare hand. She curled up a little more, her arms shaking a bit while she held her intestine in place.

Everyone was looking at them. Gajeel was screaming to everyone where was the nearest hospital. Everyone was so disgusted by the smell and the blood stains everywhere. Until someone stopped and gave them a ride to the hospital. He assumed Gajeel wouldn't make it time.

"What happened to her?" The person asked while driving and speeding up the best he could.

"I... I..." Gajeel stuttered, he didn't notice he was shaking and pressing down so hard into her skin until he actually sat down, with her on his lap, his heart was punching against his chest. "I don't know. She lost a lot of blood" His voice was weak.

"Hold on." The person said. Lucy looked up at Gajeel. She asked herself if he was going to throw up again. She clenched one arm closer to her chest just so she could hold one of his hands, the one close to her shoulder. In a way to tell him that she was fine, so he would not worry so much. He held her even closer against his chest, trying to hide his face from her. His clothes were stained now. "There's a hospital nearby. I'll take you there"

"Thank you" He said, his voice was still shaking. He didn't know if he was afraid of losing her, or afraid that he was weak now. He wasn't like that. But she had no one else to turn to. He had to be there for her, for now, at least until he talked to everyone in the guild to tell them what happened to her. He had to tell them.

When they finally stopped, the person who was driving the carriage opened the door for Gajeel and helped him run into the emergency room. Gajeel did not have any strength left to scream. He was almost passing out. Lucy however, was awake and analising his expressions the whole time. The person helped Gajeel, he screamed for the nurses and doctors.

"Somebody, please help!"

As soon as they saw the bloody woman in a horrible state on Gajeel's arms, three mages ran to them. Gajeel was weak, barely standing. They held Lucy and put her on a bed.

"She lost a lot of blood" Gajeel said, not noticing yet the state of his shirt.

"We're going to help her now. You do not have to worry" One of the mages said to him. But Lucy could not laid down, they were almost pushing her down.

"I can't. It hurts" She said, pressing down against her stomach. They could not see what was wrong with her.

"Honey, you have to take your hand out of the way so we can see what's going on" One of them said. Lucy was starting to get dizzy from the blood loss, she wouldn't hold it for so long, so she let go.

And her guts fell out. They were now hanging from the bed she was in, leaving a trail of blood and some other thing on the white floor.

"We have to treat this immediately" They said, grabbing everything and taking her to a different room. She couldn't understand what was happening. Someone held her hand, pressing down a spot on it and asked her to count until ten.

She fell asleep before she reached five.

"What do you want to do now?" Gajeel asked her, noticing Lucy was lost in thought. She turned her head ever so slowly, almost like she was going out of trance. "we could go to the guild, they are going to do a party today, to celebrate that you came back. But I don't know if you'd like that. Or we could go home"

"Let's go to the party." Lucy said, smiling at him, feeling a desire to grab him by his arm. "I think I need that."

He just shook his head. He didn't know how to feel about it. "Come on." She said, grabbing his hand with her left. She still couldn't move her right hand all that well. "It'll be nice. I think we both deserve to relax a little"

Gajeel smiled at her. He closed his eyes, trying to forget the image from his head. _blood blood blood._ He was traumatized by the image of Lucy's face when he first saw her. He would never forget. He wondered, if he eventually, would go crazy because of it.

As soon as they got there and opened the guild door, almost everyone was a little surprised to find them there. But, soon, the surprise went away and they were honestly happy that Lucy was well, physically at least, and smiling for what seemed to be the first time in a long time.

That night was exactly what Lucy needed. A little fun. A little laughter. Something she didn't do in a long long time. There was only one thing that kept bothering everyone, though. The fact that Gajeel wasn't smiling and wouldn't keep his eyes off of Lucy. Natsu was annoyed at that, but, eventually, he ignored him. He wouldn't want to get in a fight with him. Not while Lucy wasn't fully recovered.

They noticed. The way she smiled, the way she talked to them. She wasn't fully herself, not yet anyway. She would get better, eventually. They all hoped so. Because they all could see in her smile that… It wasn't her. Sure, it seemed like Lucy had returned home. It seemed like she was there, and she was having fun. It seemed like Lucy had painted her hair, and she was smiling at them, and laughing with them. But there was something wrong. It looked like she was there, but she wasn't. Not fully. Almost like, whatever happened to her during those months, had stolen what she had that made Lucy… Lucy.

But that wasn't the only problem. After all, there was Gajeel. He knew more than everyone else, maybe even more than Lucy. But he wouldn't let out. He wasn't speaking. He wasn't talking. He wasn't sharing. He didn't want to remember anything, but every time he looked at Lucy and he noticed her smile, he remembered it.

Because _she was smiling when she almost died._ Her guts were falling out, there were blood everywhere, she was locked in place, and there were people literally torturing her and _she was smiling._ Like she wanted it to happen.

She wasn't fine. Gajeel knew. He knew there was something else going on with her, something even he didn't know, something he wasn't able to get out of her in that month they were together.

He was worried… That everything that happened, _happened because she wanted to happen._

And now he would never know. Because she said she didn't remember.

He didn't believe her. Not one bit.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys. I'm sorry for taking so long. But now the story is going to continue. I'm sorry for the broken hearts, but now I'll upload one chapter every week. it's a promise. If there is any grammar mistakes please tell me so I can fix it.

They didn't know how to talk to her. She had been away for seven months. She vanished, disappeared. Just like a child, just like a rebellipis teenager, she ran away from home and if they knew exactly why she did that, they would probably never talk to her again. Well, it was just like her right? She had done this before. She ran away from her father, never to talk to him again. She ran away from the guild, didn't say where she was going nor why. She wouldn't be surprised if they never wanted to talk to her again. That was her father did.

Would they look her differently? Would they treat her differently? Would they look at her like she was crazy? She probably was crazy. Loneliness can do horrible things to someone.

They wanted to ask her so many things. They wanted to know what she's been through. She has been through some stuff hasn't she? That's the reason she never came back, right? That's the reason she only came back on the arms of Gajeel.

He found her. And he brought her back. They wanted to thank him, but he was so angry all the time. They wondered what happened. They couldn't ask Lucy about it for fear that she would break into tears. They couldn't ask Gajeel either, for fear he would break them apart. That didnt mean that she was back. That didnt mean that she wanted to go back to them, and to the guild. That was sad. They wished she could be back.

So, understandably, Mira asked her if she was really back. If she would return to them. If everything would return to normal.

"Well… I dont think i have been honest with you guys. About the real reason i left the guild." Lucy said, and everyone stopped to hear. They wanted to know why.

Why did she vanish and what happened to her.

"I can't tell you yet what happened to me. But I can tell you why. I wanted to get stronger. I still do. I'm not fit to stay here anymore"

"What are you saying?" Erza said. She was getting angry. "You're strong just the way you are. You dont need to change anything to stay here. You know that. We thought you knew that"

"I do know that. But I still don't think I fit in here anymore. I wish I could tell you I want to go back, that I'll never leave. But that would be a lie." Lucy said. And in that moment, Gajeel sighed. He knew it wasnt a good idea for her to go back so soon.

"I think its getting kinda late." Gajeel said and put his hand aroundLucy's arm, wanting to take her away before she said anything she would regret later. "I think we should be getting back to the house, sleep a little. Dont you? We have quite a long day tomorrow"

"We do?" Lucy asked.

"Yeah, we're going to the barber, to paint your hair again." He said and winked at her. She didnt know exactlywhat he was talking about but she said nothing.

"Wait, Lucy" Mira called before he could get her out of there. "Do you really mean that? You don't want to be a part of fairy tail again?"

And Lucy got a flashback. A very realistic one. She saw that face again, that voice asking her. "You don't want to be a part of fairy tail again?" she saw his crooked teeth through his devious smile. "If you say no, I'll make those fairies dance. If you say yes, I'll let you go"

She remembered she didn't consider saying yes.

"No." She smiled. "I don't"

"Lucy?" Mira asked and Lucy was still in her memories. She couldn't hear her. Her mind wasnt there yet. Lucy started to smile and her hand started to ache. She used her other hand to press down against her bones, to make it hurt. She wanted it to hurt. Gajeel saw what was happening. He took her into his arms, knowing that wouldn't be enough to break the hipnose, and he lift her. She didnt do anything, she was so deep into her trance.

"We'll be back when she's feeling better" he said turning his back to them "I'm afraid she needs a little more rest"

They couldn't even say anything about it. Gajeel didn't even gave them time to think about it. He just left and they had to stare at the nothing for a while until they finally started talking to themselves about it.

They wanted to know what happened to her. They wanted to help. But there was no way they could do that if she didn't want their help. Because it seemed like she didn't want their help.

It was actually a little worse than that, because despite their best hopes, it was almoat clear that she didn't want anything else to do with fairy tail. And that made their hearts sank, but, nonetheless, made them think that maybe… just maybe it was time to let her go.

She didn't want nothing to do with them? Fine. They had to live with that. They would miss her. Natsu would miss her. She was his closest friend. He was already missing her. In those seven months, he would not stop thinking about her. And he would not stop thinking about her now. Because he knew there was something happening. And he wanted to know what.

Even though he spent months trying to find her, even though he wanted to make everything the way it once was…. It was meaningless. Things had obviously changed. She had changed. She was with Gajeel now.

And it was time for Natsu to accept that. It was time to let her go. He knew that. But he wouldn't accept it until he found out exactly what happened to her.

If she didn't want anything else to do with them, then, by all means, he would let her go, with his heart in pieces for his lost friend. But first, he needed to know what happened to finally let her go. He at least deserved that.

And so, with a heavy heart, knowing what he was going to do was wrong, he followed them. If she wasn't going to tell them, he had to listen to her talk about it when she was talking to someone who probably knew what happened. Gajeel. That would be creepy, that was wrong. He knew that. But he knew he deserved to know why.

They all did.

And he would find out the truth, even if he died doing so.

A few blocks from the guild, Lucy finally woke up. "Please, put me down" she asked. If she hadn't say anything, Gajeel would never discover that she was awake again.

"Are you okay?" He needed to ask. He saw her face when Mira talked to her. He somehow knew that something was not okay. He had seen that face before and it wasn't a pretty experience.

"Kinda" she said. She was feeling a little dizzy.

"You saw something didn't you" he said. Lucy didn't want to admit. It wasn't a pretty hallucination. Actually, no hallucination was pretty. She knew she had to get used to it. Something inside her told her that. That was going to happen more times than she wanted. "What was it? Something from before?"

"Yes" she could still see his crooked smile. That creepy feeling that he wasn't helping her, even though it seemed like she asked for it. "He asked me if I still wanted to be a part of Fairy Tail. And I said no."

Gajeel was silent. It was weird knowing that everything happened because she chose something she shouldn't in the first place.

"Gajeel… what did I do?" Lucy asked. Gajeel saw regret in her eyes for the first time in a long time. "I have this feeling that... somehow… it didnt end. That something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong." He was worried. He looked right into ger eyes. And he saw that she wanted something normal. That she did something wrong. She felt guilty, for a lot of things. For running away. For trying to get stronger. For thinking that she was weak.

She was sad. Because now she could remember that she was the one who wanted to do those things to get stronger. Why though? Why did she wanted to get stronger in the first place? She couldn't say. Not anymore.

"Lucy, look at me." She looked into his eyes. And she saw that he deeply cared for her. And she smiled at that. She liked that feeling. Being cared for. "There is nothing wrong with you. Whatever they did to you is over, and I'll not let them do anything to you ever again. I'll kill them if I have to. You're safe." Her eyes teared up. He hugged her. "Youre safe now." He said again, trying to prove to himself that. Maybe if he said that enough times, it would finally feel right. "I won't let anyone hurt you ever again"

She hugged him back. She knew right then and there why she loved him in that one month. Because he cared for her when no one else would. And that made her fall in love with him again.

That was the only thing she wanted.

To be loved. And what other proof of love there is to make the other one feel safe next to you?

"I love you" she said and Gajeel smiled. "And thank you. I dont know what I would do if it wasn't for you "

Natsu saw everything. Distant enough for them not to see him and close enough to hear everything. He did not feel good hearing her say that to someone that wasn't him.

And what was even worse wasn't that. The worst part was that Gajeel said the same thing back.

"I love you too"


End file.
